Getting Alex in the Morning!

Today was a busy day! We did tons of running around getting all of the necessary paperwork like the court decree, new birth certificate, and Alex's passport. We had to drive to Slovansk first to get the birth certificate, and then drove all the way to Donetsk which is an hour and a half long ride each way. Not only was the car ride hot and bumpy--- but we had to change two flat tires too! But everything got done-- praise the Lord and we all ate at McDonald's afterwards! What a treat that was! Still.... I couldn't bring myself to buy ketchup so my fries were a little dry. But I washed them down with ice cold coca-cola.

Here is where we had our first flat tire changed.



This is where our driver changed our second flat tire on the side of the road.

Yes, men carry purses in Ukraine-- especially in the bigger cities like Donetsk.

On our drive we saw miles and miles of sunflowers. It was hard to believe that any country could eat so many seeds. Later, I found it the sunflower seeds are squeezed for their oil--- there are no olive trees in Ukraine.

Here we are driving back into Kramatorsk.

By the time we got back to our apartment it was too late to go and sign the paperwork so we could pick-up Alex----- but it is on our to-do list first thing in the morning! I am so excited! This is the very last night he will have to sleep in the orphanage--- the last time he will go without hugs, kisses, and prayers as he is tucked into bed.

This is also our last night in Kramatorsk--- and believe it or not--- I think I am going to miss this place. I am going to miss seeing all of the Mama kitties on our walk to Antoshka. I am going to miss watching all of the children playing outside. I am going to miss being able to buy ice-cream on any street corner in any one of the many kiosks.

I am going to miss people watching---- I still don't get why so many women wear heels here. I am going to miss a more simpler life.

I have promised myself that life is going to be different when I get home. I want to take the time to walk more......... to get the mail.......... to walk to my kids' bus stop........ to go around my neighborhood and meet more people. I want to complain less. If I have to drive to the doctor's office-- so what. My car is air conditioned and I am pretty sure that I have enough tread on my tires so that I won't get a flat. If I have to wash my fifth load of clothes that day--- big whoop--- I won't have to hang up all of the clothes to dry. If my son falls in the mud--- at least I know I will have hot water to give him a bath. I want to take more time to just visit with friends and family. Back in America I was always so busy-- yet I don't know what I was doing. Probably too much computer, too much worrying, too much planning, making way too big of a deal about anything and everything.

Wouldn't that be nice?

----Goodnight!

Up and Down

Last night I tossed and turned worrying my heart over everything you can imagine. I continually refocused my thoughts on my Heavenly Father-- but I was up against a battle.

Thoughts that went through my mind:

I won't wake up on time to make it to the airport by 5 am this coming Friday.

They will not have the old passport forms which take only one day-- but they will have plenty of new passport forms which take a week.

We will not be allowed to enter the country because Alex won't pass his medical.

I run out of diapers on the train.

My kids are getting into trouble back home every day I am not there for them.

I can go on and on, but you get the drift. It wasn't until 1:00am that I finally fell asleep. Needless to say, I didn't get much sleep, but I am still managing to stay positive. We made little gift bags for each of the children in Alex's group. Inside each one is a teddy bear shaped chocolate filled cake, a juice box, a napkin, and a toy telephone. Julia and I decorated the outside of each of the bags. We think they will like them.

Alex will probably come back to the apartment with us tomorrow evening after we do all of our running around to get our paperwork complete. I am looking forward to giving him a bath, putting on clean pajamas, and feeding him a bowl of ice-cream. Most of all, I look forward to him really being my son------ here to stay by my side-- no more visits!

Don't get me wrong, Ukraine is wonderful, and so is adoption, but being away from family for so long makes a person kind of long to be home back in their own bed---- settling disagreements between the kids, washing loads of smelly socks, and sitting in church listening to your Pastor talk.

Ahhhhhh, it will be good to be home.

Meanwhile, Julia and I are having fun buying inexpensive little treats for all of our loved ones back home.

For my family---

Adam, I miss hearing you play guitar.
Rachel, I miss cooking with you in the kitchen.
Caleb, I miss rubbing hands with you in church.
Sveta, I miss your funny talks with the dogs.
Annalyn, I miss your beautiful smiles.
Anna, I miss your sweet hugs and kisses.
William, I miss cuddling with you.
Andrew, I miss hearing your laugh.... so much.
Jonny, I miss your sweet little voice.
Dennis, I miss the way you prance around the house.
And John, I miss you making me laugh.
Friends and family-- I miss all of you too!

Please continue to pray us home.

The Borscht was Great!

Just got back from dinner with Julia. Julia ended up really enjoying the borscht compared to the smoky chicken dish that she ordered. Oh well------ who said we had to finish everything off of our plates?

Our afternoon visit with Alex went well---- but I am so done visiting my child everyday. It feels so much like a chore---- which I hate saying-- but it is true. It feels weird looking forward to our visit with Alex and then watching the time go by slowly hoping that this is the last visit before we get to take him away for good.

Our facilitator is coming back in the morning so this is our last "just girls" night--- free to not close the door when we shower-- free to eat in the living room---- free to binge on ice-cream. But it also means having a translator again which is nice to have last minute questions answered.

Hope you have a nice Sunday!

Our Last Saturday

I'm jumping up and down.

Two reasons----

1.) Officially today our 10th day is up! And this is the last Saturday we are spending in Ukraine!

2.) We are at an Internet Cafe walking distance from our apartment! Woooo-hooo!

Julia and I both have computers for the next hour and a half--- so now I can tell you all about the last few days. Alex is getting more and more used to us and seems sad every time our visit is over. He is for the most part a very happy and outgoing little boy---- but there is a mischievous side to him that I will have to keep an eye on. I think he has just been couped up for way too long and is ready to explore the world around him. The other day I tore off a dead branch with dry leaves and crumbled it up in front of him. Then I let him do it. He loved it! We also got to let him play in the sand with all the other children--- something he is not allowed to do all the time-- and he loved that too! I can only imagine how he is going to react to the world outside the orphanage fence--- we keep counting down the days for him till he gets to ride the big train to Kiev.

The day we played in the sand with all the kids is a day I kick myself for not bringing the video camera. We had a blast! I pretended to make food and then had the kids serve it to me.

"Ya nee hachoo kasha-malasha!" I said making the yuckiest face--- and breakthrough! All the caretakers started laughing and it seemed like Julia and I made it into their club. After that we were offered some of their black, unsalted sunflower seeds. It was a neat feeling of acceptance.

I pretended to eat the kasha (sand) as the kids saw me throw down the spoonfuls-- this had all of them laughing. Soon after, the kids were playing with each other---- Alex and Leeza were the cutest together.... both laughing up a storm!

Quite a few times Julia and I have timed our arrival to be just as the kids are coming outside to play. The caretakers have to call all the kids back as they come running up to us yelling Mama.
I have given up correcting them to call me Choit-cha which means Aunt after learning that they have eighteen different caretakers whom they all call Mama. I wish they could all have Mamas-- all of them need one and deserve one.

As Julia and I have learned what the kids do day and day out--- we have decided to do something different for the kids when we take Alex. Instead of the traditional cake, fruit, and juice, we went and bought all of the kids little toy phones. We went to the same lady where Julia bought her siblings a few souvenirs and she remembered us. Instead of twelve grivna per phone, she told us they were only eight grivna, but when we told her we wanted to buy 7 of them, she sold them to us for six grivna each. Knowing what a great deal she was giving us-- we gave her a fifty grivna bill and told her to keep the change. It was a win-win for all of us! We will probably still do something else but we are not sure yet. We are giving the caretakers the dishcloths that Julia handmade, filled with candy and tied together. Hopefully they will like them.
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Going back a few days-- one evening when the Penman's were still here we went to Premier for dinner-- a very affordable and good place to eat in Kramatorsk. I felt a little adventurous and ordered a pork, cabbage, and kiwi salad.

It was so yummy! Julia played it safe and ordered boring mashed potatoes and rice with cooked veggies. I also ordered chicken with spinach and cheese. It was just nice getting out and not having to do the dishes afterwards. Our whole meal with two cokes each was only seventy-one grivna equivalent to about nine American dollars.

The other night, Julia and I had a Racko tournament and made a little bet to make it interesting. If she won, I had to take her to the pastry shop and let her pick out anything. If I won, she had to go to Premier with me and have a bowl of Borscht.

Guess who won??

Since it rained last night we couldn't go-- so today after our afternoon visit with Alex we are going to Premier!
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Here is a place where I think handicapped people live. What a nice ramp for wheelchairs.

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We played outside with all of the kids again.

The caretakers even allowed Alex to get out and play with us.

As alluded to... pretty cool in my opinion.

http://www.vp.donetsk.ua/statya.php?vstat=3166

--JR

(dad)

ps They are are all fine. It's raining there. And they got just one week left !

It is Snowing!

Yes, you read right! As I type, you can see little flakes of snow floating to the ground. The Penman's call them flurries, I think. Whatever you call it-- it is cold! How exciting!

Must Have Woke Up on the Wrong Side of the Kravat

Today's morning visit with Alex did not go well.

What makes it worse is that I didn't even see it coming. I was too excited at all the "trash to treasure" I had collected for the children in his groupa. All of the toys that we give the groupa ends up on a shelf (and I am not kidding-- they are for show only) so I thought I would bring them things that are considered trash, but I know the kids will have a ball playing with. So I lugged a good size bag of egg cartons, empty cereal boxes, different kind of bags, cups, and spoons.

And I was right! The kids were so excited-- and the caretakers actually looked at me and showed me with their eyes that I had done a good thing-- which I was glad to see because I was half expecting them to look at me like I was crazy. It was fun to see the kids playing-- and it made it easier for us to take Alex for a walk while he ate the ripe, yummy pear that we brought. As the juicy fruit dripped down his arm and onto his thighs, I tried to teach him to wrap a napkin around the fruit, but he wouldn't have it. Okay-- so forget the napkin-- I'll just clean him up once he is done. That too, he didn't want any part of but I got the job done, no big deal. We got to check up on the hardworking men who have been laying brick since we first got here. John-- they are still not done-- but they continue to engage Alex and he is more talkative with them. After walking around for about twenty minutes playing hide and go seek with Julia, we went and saw Simon's group and gave them their usual tickle fest that each of the boys so love. It has been amazing to see them all transition before my eyes-- each of the boys look healthier and happier-- they have better color, and respond to Julia and I immediately-- which is amazing because they all have moderate special needs (outside of Simon). Word of advice to anyone going to an orphanage soon-- spend time with the other kids-- rub their back-- talk to them--- bring them treats--- tickle them--- it may be the only real highlight of their day... week... month... or even year.

Moving on......

We all went to the sport room---- Alex was not cooperative getting out of the stroller. The room had the director's wife sitting in it doing paperwork-- so of course I talked with her a bit while Julia played with Alex. Alex came over to me, so I picked him up. He didn't like that--- he wanted to look through the drawer she had open. As I tried to parent him and lead him back to the ball pit, he dashed out to swing open the door-- something he has been told many times not to do. So I picked him up and now he has the director's wife scolding him too. Okay, I thought-- he'll listen to her. NOPE. He stared grabbing my glasses which he also knows is a big no-no. You can imagine how awkward the situation was for me as he continued to deliberately disobey. I gave him the benefit of the doubt that he was acting up because there was other women around-- but I still had to stay firm. So I did what I did a few days ago--- I took him back to his groupa.

Ugh--- it was not one of my finer moments---- yet again.

One caretaker got him to apologize and give me an I am sorry kiss which was really nice--- but I can't wait till he is my child in my custody and learns to respond to me in the same way. Only five more days for that. The plan is for us to be on a train the night of the 4th.
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Before I forget I wanted to tell you how impressed I am with the caretakers handiwork. Nearly a week ago, one of the front wheels on Alex's stroller broke-- I most certainly would have thrown the whole thing away. But not at Antoshka-- the women got out some thin wire and fixed it-- and now it stronger than ever!
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However, our afternoon visit went well! We had fun with the kids outside!

A Short Update

Today we got to take Alex out to get his passport photo taken. He was beyond excited--- riding in a machina left him speechless. He loved the big flash of the photographers camera and made the cheeziest expression humanly possible! It was so cute.

When we got back, we saw that an American family who had adopted a little girl ten years ago was there for a visit.

Their beautiful daughter played guitar for the whole orphanage. It was nice to see everyone celebrating this beautiful child's life. Julia and the girl talked, as did her mother and I. What an incredible story they have. Afterwards, they visited the kids in Alex's groupa--- and she passed out lots of toys that were shelved shortly thereafter. Earlier in their trip they had visited Torez and told me only good things about it. The mother said that the children and adults appeared to be very well cared for-- they were doing crafts and were working on ongoing projects. It was so nice to hear good things about a place that I feared Alex was doomed to go to.

Julia and I visited the flea market and found some really cute clothes. We found a few ladies who helped us bargain with the other merchants-- so even in Ukraine I got some pretty good deals! After, we walked around to look at the fresh vegetables-- and bought a nice big peach!

Today one of the caretakers insisted that Alex walk up the stairs. Obviously he was having difficulty-- especially when we let go of his hand so I ended up carrying him up. Sadly, that was frowned upon.

Hope all is well with all of you.

Sad to See Us Go

When it was time to take Alex back to his groupa at the end of our second visit yesterday--- I didn't want to hand him over. I could see how unhappy he was to go--- I am sure it had something to do with the particular caretakers that were on shift at that time. There are so many women coming and going from that orphanage that I can hardly keep up-- nor can I recognize them. There are a few that I love dearly and appreciate so much-- but the majority of them seem to consider what they do merely a job not a ministry--- and it shows.

And it makes my heart hurt. Julia's too. She loves all the children and enjoys passing out treats to them. She is getting Alex to play with her more and more and she absolutely loves to hear him call out her name. It is pretty cute.

Today we saw Dennis' old roommate outside in a baby walker. She is just so precious, bless her little heart. She has some kind of syndrome I am sure-- her eyes are set wide apart and she is missing fingers-- but she is the cutest little doll in all of Antoshka! But don't worry in case you are thinking---- the feelings I have are not Mama-type feelings but more a feeling of children with special needs need more advocates because they have so much potential. Can I hear an Amen?
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I think Julia and I are developing a mosquito phobia-- nothing makes my skin crawl more than the high pitched sound of a mosquito buzzing around your head. EEeee!

I am also sick of apricots--- there are trees everywhere around here and the smell of rotten apricots smells like hot, old beer.

I love, love, love how Kramatorsk is like one giant park. Tall, shady trees are everywhere! Here is just one of many "hang outs" where old men play chess.
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We saw this caterpillar on our walk home. It was huge!

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This is for the Reed Kids---- I miss you guys so much. I have enjoyed your comments Annalyn and Rachel. They make me feel closer to you. Please keep an eye on each other and take care of one another! This is not a bribe-- but I would love to surprise all of you with something fun to do when Julia, Alex, and I get home! So-- be good!

Life in Ukraine

Alex is so smart. Yesterday I asked him if he wanted one cookie or two cookies tomorrow. He answered two! Then I asked him if he wanted little cookies or big cookies and he thought for a moment and answered, "Bolshoy!" It was just the cutest thing.

Alex is learning so much--- he got another timeout for hitting another little girl and understood that he had to stay sitting in his chair for a few minutes. Then he got up and said sorry. It is really obvious that the kids are not taught to say please and thank you, or I am sorry when they accidentally do something like hit another child with a swinging telephone. However, I am pleased to say that Alex is already learning these things and I have caught him saying them with out my prompting.

Alex is doing things that John had tried to get him to do when he was still here, but Alex was scared to do. He now loves to play in a big tube and Alex rolls around in it when Julia or I push it.
The weather is hot again, but the breeze is nice. We sleep in the room with the air conditioning and it almost feels like I am at home in my own bed. Almost.

Here is a list of things that are noticeably different here.

1. I have to unlock three different doors to get into our apartment. One of the keys looks like it should unlock an ancient treasure chest.

2. There are little kiosks scattered throughout the apartment grounds that sell beverages including beer, fresh fruit, bread, or ice-cream. Julia and I can enjoy two nice sized ice-cream bars for less than a dollar.

3. There are so many stray cats and dogs around here. And many cats look pregnant. Julia and I also give our loose change to a very fragile looking babushka who stands outside the market begging for money. Not sure if we are doing the right thing according to Ukraine customs, but for us it feels right.

4. Ukraine just flat out smells different than America. Some of the smells are good, but most are unpleasant to my nose. The stairwell smells different from the elevator and certain parts of our walk make me wonder what died in the bushes. Probably one of those poor starving dogs I see around here. The market sells lots of fish-- and I hate fish-- period. I do like walking past one of the kiosks selling bread-- and fresh tomatoes have a nice smell too.
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As I close I wanted to share a story with you. After dinner, Julia and I went outside to sit near our apartment entrance where all the old babushkas sit. At one point I got up and asked to pet one of their dogs. She told me NO very sternly and then showed me her hand which had two of her upper fingers missing indicating that the dog had bit them off. What??? Why would she still have that dog? Anyway, a scary looking man was finally done yelling at another babushka one door down and came walking past where we were sitting. That mean dog got up and started barking something fierce at that man and was ready to attack it, so the man started yelling at it and lighting matches and throwing them at the dog. It was quite a show. But finally, the old man was gone and the dog went back to sleep.

Another old crochety babushka joined the other babushkas and saw that Julia an I were playing ball again. She asked me to move because a machina would drive over us but I ignored her because there had been no machinas for the last 15 minutes and I was a big girl who could see the machina and get out of the way. I think that ticked her off because she came up to me invading my personal space and talking to me like a child. She told me to go play somewhere else because a mahina would drive over me. Well this time I nicely told her that there was no machinas and this royally ticked her off. She started yelling at me and finally acted like the ball might hit her face-- so rather than cause a scene, I picked up the soft ball and Julia and I went back up to our apartment.

I miss America. Only 12 more days. Only 12 more days.

P.S. Here is a cute picture of the kids all sitting on a blanket eating the cookies we brought them.