that my kids may not be the best in their class?
if I ever got my empty nest?
about what others thought?
when I received emails like this?
"The major issue is, does the child have a ventriculo peritoneal shunt? Hydrocephalus is typically the major issue. Most of these children do OK, but the majority do not go on to live independent, employed lives. You need to be prepared for chronic medical problems, requiring multidisciplinary care."
Just like for Dennis, I have already started contacting doctors about Alexsey's medical issues. Four years ago, an email like this would have freaked me out on so many levels. I can honestly say, I would have undoubtedly said no to adopting a child with special needs. But that wasn't God's plan, and He has since changed my heart----- big time.
I just don't care about stuff like this---- I have experienced first hand how amazing all these children are, and I have so much hope that I don't have room to be filled with fear. Let me take that back---- I do have fear. I fear that I will miss out on one of God's biggest blessings by not adopting Alexsey. I have faith that God has huge plans for Alexsey's life....... which do not include deteriorating in an institution.
Not too long ago, I met up with a woman at one of Dennis' post-operative check-ups. She had two precious children with her--- one was in a wheelchair and one had a permanent tracheotomy. We got to talking and I found out that she was fostering the boy in the wheel chair and she had adopted from foster care the other little boy. As I talked with her and got a sense of how big her heart was and how much hope she had for these children--- I had a total change of heart towards all children with special needs. And I can't tell you how freeing it was. Things like a tracheotomy or a G-tube, or anything else just doesn't freak me out anymore. In the grand scheme of things--- I have realized that God will never give me more than I can handle---- ever.
And that means that if God does entrust Alexsey in our care by allowing us to adopt him, He will equip us with all we need to parent him...... and I am excited at the thought.