Sunday, May 31, 2009

Preparing Me

Adoption is not an easy road. That is so hard for me to understand. My own logic says that there is a need and when a family is willing to step up and care for a child it should be immediate because the child is already born. Why is it necessary to go through all of the paperwork, all of the doctor appointments, fingerprinting, blah, blah, blah, blah? If I chose to have a biological child, I would not have to jump through so many hoops. I do realize that because it is often harder for someone to care for a child that is not of their own flesh and blood it is good to "check" them out, but after that part is done, I do not think anyone can get me to understand the point of waiting. Like with Alexsey. We have been approved to adopt and have managed to supply every piece of documentation that is needed, so why can't we just go and get our son and bring him home?

I have wrestled with this for many years--- and have failed to come up with any answers that really make sense to me until now. Last night, while reading a book, I found this verse on Faith and Endurance. It is about building character and as I read it, a light bulb went off.

James 1:2-4 (New Living Translation)
Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.

Adoption comes with its own challenges even if they only happen to be the language and culture barrier. Realistically, any adoptive family will face many more challenges before life feels "normal." Being tested with the paperwork, the waiting, the unknown, and the adoption process itself is a chance to get closer to God... a chance to grow. I look at it as a lesson on patience.... something our Heavenly Lord knows we will need alot of once our children are home. How wise is that? If adoption was very quick and easy, I think we would get way more overwhelmed than what we already are when our children first come home. That time spent doing the paperwork gets us ready for all of those new medical enrollment forms, school enrollment forms, homework, and insurance forms. Dealing with all of the crazy delays, paperwork requests, and endless changes in the process prepare us for parenting. During this wait, we are given the opportunity to pray for our children---- a priceless gift to give to our soon to be child.

With every adoption journey we have been on, we have always been blessed in the end. James 1:12 says, "God blesses those who patiently endure testing and temptation. Afterward they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him."

God will not let me down.

Dear Lord,
Please be with Alexsey tonight and always.

Saturday, May 30, 2009

We Shall See

On June 2nd, officials in Alexsey's birth country are going to vote on whether or not to ban international adoptions.

I am indescribably at peace about this. I can't even begin to explain it. Of course I am praying that this doesn't happen, but I am also finding comfort in knowing that God closes doors only to open another.

No, it is not me giving up on Alexsey, but maybe just maybe no matter how much I have tried to tell myself that he was meant to be ours........... maybe he wasn't.

We shall find out.

Stay tuned......

and pray. Please.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Yes, I am Envious........

A few days have past since I last posted, so I guess you can say we are that much closer to bringing home Alexsey. However, I am ashamed to admit that I have been less than joyful (secretly of course) watching so many other families get their dossier submitted just because the child that they are hoping to adopt has special needs that are different than Alexsey's special needs. I know, I know, shame on me--- and yes even in the midst of my envy I am also praising the Lord that those children are coming home--- but at the same time, I am pleading with Him to let Alexsey join these children and come home too. It is just not fair.

And I know that life isn't fair-- and that more than once I have seen the amazing plan that seemed to make no sense to me at the time---- that God had all along-- but it doesn't make the current situation any easier.

Everything our family is doing right now, I think how Alesxey is missing out on it. We went to the river, and I could envision Alexsey pointing to it with excitement in his eyes. But he missed it. Dennis and I had a bowl of Borscht today---- and Alexsey missed that too. Sure, he probably gets plenty of borscht in the orphanage but it is not the same as my borscht--- made with love and eaten with his Mama. It is just not the same.

Our wonderful school has went ahead and placed Alexsey on a waiting list for pre-school assuming that he will be here by the end of summer. Will he be here God? Is that Your plan? Please let it be Your plan.

Lord, I know in my heart that Alexsey is ultimately Yours and that Your plan for Him is greater than I'll ever know this side of heaven. I will hold onto this truth not only for just Alexsey, but for all my children. I remember writing this post just a year ago when we were in the process of adopting Dennis. Reading it was just what I needed today.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Advocating for Owen

This little boy is named Owen. When I first saw his picture, my heart was touched. My daughter Sveta who has said on numerous occasions that she doesn't want to have kids, fell head over heels in love. "O Mom, he is so nice. I want him. Please let us adopt him. If you don't I will when I grow up."

Oh, how I wish it was that easy. For so many reasons none of which have to do with his medical condition, we cannot adopt Owen, and so I will advocate for him. Honestly, when I first found out about him a few months back, I did not think he would live for very long and so I didn't want to push finding a family only to find out that he had passed away.

Well, this little guy definitely is a fighter and so very deserving of a family. Here is an updated picture of him.

This picture touches my heart even more--- I just want to pick him up and love on him and make him smile.

Please, please, please consider adopting this precious seventeen month old little boy. To find out more visit Reece's Rainbow.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Prayer Warriors Unite!

So many of you are praying. It is so evident. Thank you. No, I cannot tell you that we are any closer to submitting our paperwork, but I can tell you that I am more at peace with the wait. And I am taking it one day at a time. It is God's timing, not ours......

Lord, please do not make Alexsey wait too much longer. Isn't it time for Him to come home?

Please hear our prayers--- each and every one of them.... and unite all orphans with their waiting families.

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all you heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will keep your paths straight.

Friday, May 15, 2009

Might Take A Few Months

If nothing changes between now and November--- that looks like when we'll be traveling.

This is not set in stone----- God can change this just like he changed things for Dennis' adoption.

Alexsey is running out of time. He is on the verge of being transferred from the wonderful baby house he is at now to a horrible institution.

I can't bear the thought of him being there another six months.

psalm 139:3 You chart the path ahead of me and tell me where to stop and rest. Every moment you know where I am.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009


Author Unknown

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried: Quietly, patiently, lovingly God replied. I plead and I wept for a clue to my fate, And the Master so gently said, "Child, you must wait."

"Wait? You say, wait!" my indignant reply. "Lord, I need answers, I need to know why! Is Your hand shortened? Or have You not heard? By faith, I have asked, and am claiming Your Word.

My future and all to which I can relate hangs in the balance, and You tell me to wait?

I'm needing a "Yes", a go-ahead sign, or even a "No" to which I can resign.

And Lord, You promised that if we believe we need but to ask, and we shall receive. And Lord, I've been asking, and this is my cry: "I'm weary of asking! I need a reply!

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate as my Master replied once again "You must wait." So, I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut and grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting...for what?"

He seemed, then, to kneel and His eyes wept with mine, and He tenderly said "I could give you a sign. I could shake the heavens, and darken the sun. I could raise the dead, and cause mountains to run.

All you seek, I could vie, and please you would be. You would have what you want - but, you wouldn't know Me. You'd not know the depth of My love for each saint; You'd not know the power I give to the faint.

You'd not learn to see through the clouds of despair; You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there; You'd not know the joy of resting in Me; When the darkness and silence were all you could see.

You'd never experience the fullness of love as the peace of My Spirit descends like a dove; You'd know that I five and I Save, for a start, but you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.

The flow of my comfort late into the night, the faith that I give when you walk without sight, the depth that's beyond getting just what you asked of an infinite God, who makes what you have last.

You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee, what it means that "My grace is sufficient for thee." Yes, your dreams for your loved one overnight would come true,

But, Oh, the Loss! If I lost what I'm doing in you!

So, be silent, My child, and in time you will see that the greatest of gifts is to get to know Me. And though oft' may My answers seem terribly late, My most precious answer of all is still, "Wait."

Will today be the day Father?

Monday, May 11, 2009

Patiently Waiting

We are waiting for our dossier to be submitted. It would be awesome if that happened this month---- this week even better yet. I know many of you are waiting too. Since we are waiting together, why don't we pray together too? May God move mountains this month of May. Meditate on His word day and night, and you will see His provision hour by hour. Before we know it, the wait will be over and our children will be in our arms!

Habakkuk 2:3 (New Living Translation)
This vision is for a future time. It describes the end, and it will be fulfilled. If it seems slow in coming, wait patiently, for it will surely take place. It will not be delayed.

Isaiah 40:31 (New Living Translation)
But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.

Psalm 69:13 (New Living Translation)
But I keep praying to you, Lord, hoping this time you will show me favor. In your unfailing love, O God, answer my prayer with your sure salvation.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Happy Mother's Day

Hope this day is special and memorable for you!

Friday, May 8, 2009

All For the Glory of God

I really am not at liberty to share the details yet, but amazing things are happening on the adoption front. (insert huge smile) Your prayers are helping to move mountains in more ways than one. Thank you so much. Thank you too for all that have given of your time and money to help bring Alexsey home. Some of you have sent words of encouragement, t-shirts to show your support.... some of you hand made items that were sold in the silent auction, went out of your way to call and express your support........ one very sweet friend even sent me a Starbucks giftcard of hers when I vowed to forgo coffee, carwashes, and haircuts. Your show of support has made for quite a story--- which I have shared with anyone that is willing to listen. God's plan goes so much further than just the adoption of a little boy with spina bifida named Alexsey-- and all of you are a part of it. This journey is a testimony that God still works miracles.

Can I have an Amen?

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Why Did You Wait?

Michelle said...
this question is tough so i understand if you don't answer it. :-)what will you tell Alexsey if he ever asks why you took Dennis and left him in the orphanage for a year? as adults, we can understand it - i know i do - but from a child's perspective it probably won't be so easy. once he realizes that you were there but didn't claim him as your son for awhile, he may ask about it, and i'm just wondering how you'd approach that with him.again, this is something that i understand, so PLEASE don't take it as criticism at all... i'm just asking how you'd handle answering Alexsey's questions since he's still so young.praying for all of you,michelle

This question is bound to come up at some point, and I think that we will be completely honest with Alexsey. This is how I would probably answer his question.

"The first time we met you, we were there to adopt your brother Dennis and only Dennis....... but out of all the other children in the orphanage you caught our attention too. Your smile was just so sweet that I could not get you out of my mind. I made a decision to help find you a family and I tried and tried and I tried. Little did I know that as I tried to find a family for you, God was preparing the way for us to go back and get you. If only we would have known that it was God's plan for you to be our little boy all along. And guess what-- we went back as quickly as we could! And yes, I am so sorry that I didn't bring you home last year... but you are home now and that is what matters most...... and we will never ever be apart again!"

This is pretty weak I know, but I trust that come time I am asked the question for real, God will give me just the right words. He always does.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

When He Was a Baby

Please pray that our documents are submitted this month.

Friday, May 1, 2009

It Made Me Smile

I was pointed to this video today. It made me smile. It was inspirational. I thought I'd share.

I Am Amazed!

Thank you so much to whoever donated over the last two days to Alexsey's adoption! You guys are just incredible. Your willingness to give is a tremendous blessing. I appreciate all that you are doing to help Alexsey home, but as I said earlier I am asking that you please consider giving to this family instead. They are absolutely amazing--- and I know that God has an amazing plan by laying them on my heart. I have been sick the last two days and just barely got on the computer today to catch up on things when I found out about the donations. While I am incredibly thankful, I wanted to remind people about the Landrums and so I went to their blog so that I would be able to link to it and found that they had wrote an adoption update yesterday. Go check it out! They are truly a touching family------ if you get to know them, you will be blessed. Anyway, just wanted to let you guys know that $60.00 has been raised on this family's behalf because people bought adoption decals. Thank you, thank you, thank you! I have many more to sell! Only $20 each and they are going for a good cause! Please consider declaring your support for adoption through a decal on your car window! They are beautiful accessory and the money is going for a great cause!

Also, I wanted to give a special thanks to Sally, who was an amazing example of spreading God's grace and love. She had a wonderful idea to help raise money for Alexsey's adoption by raffling off an IPOD, and now I want to do the same for the Landrums. Thank you Sally! You are so sweet!