Wednesday, April 22, 2009

New Life

I saw a very beautiful and pregnant woman yesterday at my children's "open house" at school.

Though I do not have a big beautiful belly like her....... inside, I feel every bit as "expecting" as she does. Except for a few differences.

This woman is probably 7 or 8 months along and will undoubtedly have her baby in her arms on a specific day give or take a few. Her baby will most likely be around 7 pounds. She not only will get to see her baby the moment he or she is born, but she will most likely get to cradle her child in her arms immediately. This is so beautiful. I know. I have been there. I have been "expecting" for three months. I am praying that I will have my child in my arms within two months. For a traditional pregnancy this would never be hoped for as the child would be very premature, but when you bring a child into your family though adoption you hope for sooner rather than later. My "baby" will not be a "little" one--- he is already four years old and probably around 18 pounds....... but he will be my "little" baby. He will very much be my newborn because he will be new to us and the world will be new to him.

Children living in an orphanage I have found, have very little experience in the real world much like a newborn. They are not familiar with being adored, smiled at, hugged, played with, bathed, caressed, kissed, encouraged, stimulated, or educated. That is because, this is what a family is supposed to do--- this is what we will do with Alexsey. Sure he has been blessed to be in a wonderful orphanage with some very caring people who do take care of him, but it is not the constant attention that he needs to thrive.

He is surviving day to day--- not thriving. And boy do I want him to thrive. I want him to thrive just like my other children are thriving. I want him to laugh when I nuzzle his neck. I want him to say more when I push him on the swing. I want him to smile as he feels water being poured over his shoulders in a nice warm bath. I want him to press forward when we encourage him to take a step. I want to see him delight in his first bowl of ice cream. I want to get him used to falling asleep in my arms because he feels safe and loved. I want Alexsey to never have to soothe himself to sleep without being tucked in and prayed over.

I want to give Alexsey everything that I have given to my children that were born from my tummy instead of just from my heart.

That pregnant woman and I are both expecting little bundles of joy. And for the most part nothing is really that different between the both of us except that she is able to care for her child now. So am I jealous of that pregnant woman?

Heck yes I am. Why??? Because she knows exactly where her child is, what that child is eating, how that child is being taken care of, and that her child is in good hands. For us adoptive parents---- we have to put our trust in God that He is taking care of our little one until we can get to them.

I can't wait till both of us (me and that pregnant woman) get to hold our little babies in our arms! No matter how a child joins your family there is so much to celebrate! Afterall, it is new life!

14 comments:

Shari said...

This is so beautifully written! It touched me in a way today that I needed. God Bless!

My Hearts Delight said...

I can totally relate to this. Well said. Hoping that the rest of your blessed event and ours goes very well:))

Matt and Carla Morgan said...

Amen, sister - every word!

I love that you're expecting - and I'm definitely praying for sooner - much much sooner :)

cm

Kathy C. said...

He will thrive. I have no doubt.

My dossier has been in country 23 mo. Perhaps I am delivering an elephant. I hear they have a long gestation period. : )

Terri-Anne said...

LOL at Kathy C! (in a loving way!)
That post was beautifully written, and really, made me think of adoption in a different light. Even though I can imagine the anticipation, I had never considered the details as you've described them. Thank you for opening my eyes to a new perspective :o)

Anonymous said...

That was such a nice post, Christine. And as we wait for our own court hearing, I can totally relate!

Best wishes,

Lori

June Berger said...

Amen. My most recent "baby" was 11 and weighed almost 50lbs. But she is still getting all the TLC a new baby would receive since she's never had it before. All children are entitled to that kind of love. Well put dear friend.

MamaPoRuski said...

I love this post!

Martha said...

When my parents found out they were expecting their first child, the "pregnancy" lasted about a half a day. They weren't totally sure what to expect but were blessed with a 6 day old baby boy that evening. Talk about a whirlwind pregnancy!

Annie said...

You are right! So well put....but I realize (since you've expressed it so well) that I actually LIKED that feeling of trusting my child in God's hands. It was as trusting in Him as I have ever been, I realize....thanks for helping me think about this.

Annie said...

Christine - could you ask "Seeking to Love Orphans" if I could be invited to their private blog? I was previously, but got behind on my blogging....and missed the boat this time.

Hi~I'm Alysha said...

From one"pregnant" mama to another...Wonderfully expressed! I can't wait to hold my son's close, to feel the warmth of them~My arms are achy for them...for my boys.

Jenny said...

Christine, I think you speak for all of us who are in the "adoption pregnancy journey". I know that there is such a relief when one of our RR families brings home their child... it feels as one of our "sisters" have safely delivered. I can't wait to see Alexsey home.

soontobemomof9 said...

I am "expecting" twins! Lovely post, so true... and until you have made the journey of adoption you just dont' quite understand. In our town we have "expectant mother" parking. I park there. Now don't worry, our stores here aren't that busy, and the parking not far away at all. If the store is packed, I park at the back. But I feel so excited when I do get to park there... and I say "YES" I am expecting again. Then I explain.... ;)