I saw a very beautiful and pregnant woman yesterday at my children's "open house" at school.
Though I do not have a big beautiful belly like her....... inside, I feel every bit as "expecting" as she does. Except for a few differences.
This woman is probably 7 or 8 months along and will undoubtedly have her baby in her arms on a specific day give or take a few. Her baby will most likely be around 7 pounds. She not only will get to see her baby the moment he or she is born, but she will most likely get to cradle her child in her arms immediately. This is so beautiful. I know. I have been there. I have been "expecting" for three months. I am praying that I will have my child in my arms within two months. For a traditional pregnancy this would never be hoped for as the child would be very premature, but when you bring a child into your family though adoption you hope for sooner rather than later. My "baby" will not be a "little" one--- he is already four years old and probably around 18 pounds....... but he will be my "little" baby. He will very much be my newborn because he will be new to us and the world will be new to him.
Children living in an orphanage I have found, have very little experience in the real world much like a newborn. They are not familiar with being adored, smiled at, hugged, played with, bathed, caressed, kissed, encouraged, stimulated, or educated. That is because, this is what a family is supposed to do--- this is what we will do with Alexsey. Sure he has been blessed to be in a wonderful orphanage with some very caring people who do take care of him, but it is not the constant attention that he needs to thrive.
He is surviving day to day--- not thriving. And boy do I want him to thrive. I want him to thrive just like my other children are thriving. I want him to laugh when I nuzzle his neck. I want him to say more when I push him on the swing. I want him to smile as he feels water being poured over his shoulders in a nice warm bath. I want him to press forward when we encourage him to take a step. I want to see him delight in his first bowl of ice cream. I want to get him used to falling asleep in my arms because he feels safe and loved. I want Alexsey to never have to soothe himself to sleep without being tucked in and prayed over.
I want to give Alexsey everything that I have given to my children that were born from my tummy instead of just from my heart.
That pregnant woman and I are both expecting little bundles of joy. And for the most part nothing is really that different between the both of us except that she is able to care for her child now. So am I jealous of that pregnant woman?
Heck yes I am. Why??? Because she knows exactly where her child is, what that child is eating, how that child is being taken care of, and that her child is in good hands. For us adoptive parents---- we have to put our trust in God that He is taking care of our little one until we can get to them.
I can't wait till both of us (me and that pregnant woman) get to hold our little babies in our arms! No matter how a child joins your family there is so much to celebrate! Afterall, it is new life!
1 year ago