Sunday, May 31, 2009

Preparing Me

Adoption is not an easy road. That is so hard for me to understand. My own logic says that there is a need and when a family is willing to step up and care for a child it should be immediate because the child is already born. Why is it necessary to go through all of the paperwork, all of the doctor appointments, fingerprinting, blah, blah, blah, blah? If I chose to have a biological child, I would not have to jump through so many hoops. I do realize that because it is often harder for someone to care for a child that is not of their own flesh and blood it is good to "check" them out, but after that part is done, I do not think anyone can get me to understand the point of waiting. Like with Alexsey. We have been approved to adopt and have managed to supply every piece of documentation that is needed, so why can't we just go and get our son and bring him home?

I have wrestled with this for many years--- and have failed to come up with any answers that really make sense to me until now. Last night, while reading a book, I found this verse on Faith and Endurance. It is about building character and as I read it, a light bulb went off.

James 1:2-4 (New Living Translation)
Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.

Adoption comes with its own challenges even if they only happen to be the language and culture barrier. Realistically, any adoptive family will face many more challenges before life feels "normal." Being tested with the paperwork, the waiting, the unknown, and the adoption process itself is a chance to get closer to God... a chance to grow. I look at it as a lesson on patience.... something our Heavenly Lord knows we will need alot of once our children are home. How wise is that? If adoption was very quick and easy, I think we would get way more overwhelmed than what we already are when our children first come home. That time spent doing the paperwork gets us ready for all of those new medical enrollment forms, school enrollment forms, homework, and insurance forms. Dealing with all of the crazy delays, paperwork requests, and endless changes in the process prepare us for parenting. During this wait, we are given the opportunity to pray for our children---- a priceless gift to give to our soon to be child.

With every adoption journey we have been on, we have always been blessed in the end. James 1:12 says, "God blesses those who patiently endure testing and temptation. Afterward they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him."

God will not let me down.

Dear Lord,
Please be with Alexsey tonight and always.

10 comments:

Chelley said...

prayers

Kathy C. said...

Same questions I have. My dossier has been in the system over two years. The twins have our last name. Yet it will still be months, possibly up to another year before they are home.

Stefanie said...

Christine, I hear your struggle. We must be reminded that all orphans are God's children first and foremost. His timing is perfect despite our quick preparations of documents. Praying you get your date quickly. Stefanie

Carey and Norman said...

What a wonderful post! So perfect and true! Thanks for sharing...I know many waiting will find peace in the words you've written!!

adopting2fromUkraine said...

I never liked that part of the Bible:0 'Count it all joy...' How can it be joyful to jump through all the hoops and go through the hardships? I never thought I'd get through this second round of all those things. But, we are really looking forward to going back to Ukraine. To that place with all the waiting and obstacles. To seeing the children again. If we didn't have the hardships, we wouldn't appreciate the triumphs as well:)

June

Wife to the Rockstar said...

AWESOME!

Can I post it on Adoption Connect??

Annie said...

I agree to some extent....but I think that the wait often exceeds the emotional and spiritual benefits.

Furthermore, as we all know, children grow quickly, they need love, nurturing. There is a healthy wait and one that deprives the child of what he needs.

But really, my big question is why it is so impossibly expensive for most people. It should not be. It should not be. The expenses of adoption are so far and away beyond what is reasonable. It breaks my heart.

Anonymous said...

There are restrictions for a reason in adoption. In fact, they are not strict enough because too many people are a bunch of kid collectors like the octamom and other fruit cakes that keep adopting. It is bad enough that you don't adopt a fellow American than you have the gall to ask for financial contributions. If you cannot afford it, why are you doing this? Your other kids are going to get annoyed with so many kids in your litter.
I hope Ukraine gets smart and closes down, but they are so desperate for money they still are all too happy to dump the kids with severe handicaps on Americans.
Do you really think the Russians or Ukrainians like Americans?
You really are naive and young. I hope in 10 years when you are in your forties you will not have to look back on on these mistakes you have made.
It is interesting that someone has that many kiddos and still has time for the Internet.

Annie said...

My goodness....you poor, bitter anonymous! You must have some unhappiness in your life, to feel this way. I spent my childhood wishing for lots of brothers and sisters. I'd love that for my children. It is pretty depressing to be an adult with exactly one relative apart from husband and kids - my mom.

You should check out Christine's other blog where she shows the very healthy and happy childhood her family shares. And she and John are teaching them to love one another and to reach out....

As an American with quite a few Russian friends I don't know that you can say categorically that Ukrainians and Russians don't like Americans! It's not my experience at all!

AND....as a parent who has put quite a bit of effort into adopting a "fellow American" I can tell you that unless you wish to adopt an older teenager who has been in trouble with the law or a large family of children with multiple emotional and learning disabilities, you are very much out of luck. And there are WAITING LISTS for THOSE children. For some odd reason the word is that there are children available for adoption in the US, but the reality is that there aren't.

But - for those fortunate enough to be matched with a child.... they still need thousands of dollars to pay for homestudies, lawyers, agencies, etc. Most parents can easily afford to raise children, pay for private school, tutors, lessons and special vacations without every needing the huge sums required for adoption.

Alice said...

Thanks for this perpective. Our adoption journey began 16 months ago and there is still no end in sight, so I can relate to the waiting. Your post helped me to look back over this time, and that has been a blessing. There have been times of frustration and impatience and sorrow, but there have also been times of overwhelming joy, peace, and a confidence that we are following God's will. He has allowed me to share, just a tiny bit, in His sufferings and helped me to see Him much more clearly.