Monday, July 6, 2009

Don't Fear!

Medical Consent Forms
75% packed
fun little trinkets for Alexsey

We are leaving in four days.

I am so excited-- but at the same time I have felt attacked by Satan himself. I am a little embarrassed to even admit, that yes, even I can't always be a strong pillar. He has filled me with so many questions all revolving around Alexsey's medical needs and whether or not we can care for him. This happened with Dennis-- and yet God carried us through all of them-- and now look at him! His medical needs are a very small part of our everday life. I know the same thing will be true of Alexsey, but honestly, it doesn't take away the fear of the unknown.

I just so want him to have as much of a normal life as possible-- and to enjoy all that the rest of my kids get to enjoy. I literally can't wait to see Alexsey doing the simplest things-- like playing cars with Dennis, coloring, eating his first fruit snacks, brushing his teeth with the little cute toothbrush I got for him.

Dear Heavenly Father,

You know my prayers, my concerns, my fears, and as I confide in you how inadequate I feel to take care of Alexsey, please know that I will continue to trust that you will always be right by my side. Please be with Alexsey always, and heal his precious body so that he can do all the things that he dreams!

Amen.

26 comments:

crispy said...

God knows your thoughts and your concerns before you ever had them. And remember He loves your little one more than you do.

I hope and pray it is a great trip. Stay safe and healthy and strong in the Spirit.

julie said...

I think your feelings are very normal. I will be praying for you all.

Blessings,
Julie

Taylor said...

I know exactly how you feel. Satan has a way of coming up with stupid things and making us worry about them so much. Before I came to Adullam House this summer I thought I would never be able to remember the kids names and was freaking out. I knew them within a day. God is always sufficient and way beyond that. He is amazing and I know He will take care of you just as you take care of Alosha. he's so cute by the way. I am so excited for you!!!

Leah said...

prayers from us too! And, its very possible that Alexey's needs will be easier to deal with than Dennis' are!

Chelley said...

Prayers and more prayers

Michelle said...

II Corinithians 1 was my reading for today... check it out :) praying for you guys! and I love this song btw !!

Jill said...

THAT SATAN! Always rearing his UGLY head in the midst of our joy!
Praying God's perfect peace for you Christine!
Jill

Chiara said...

Hi this is Chiara from Milan - Italy. I've been reading your posts for some months now. I think that your concerns and fears are the pure demonstation that you will make a great job with Alexey and all of your children. Best things come with doubt, fear and concern; in my opinion this means you tought about them more than once, so when they come you are ready, focused.
All my best wishes and love to all of your family and expecially to you

Terri said...

Your feelings are normal. In fact, I think it would be odd if you didn't feel that way. We all want what is best for our children. I am sure you will do just fine with him as you have all of your children. Praying for you these next four days. God Bless!

Jennifer said...

Oh, I have never felt so spiritually attacked as I did when we were actually getting ready to leave to get our daughter - to the point of feeling physically ill! But then once I got in the car to leave for the airport, it went away. It was like once I took that step of faith and there was no going back, there was nothing left to attack. I am so excited for your family and little Alexsey and will be praying for you to be filled with strength and peace.

Jenny said...

Christine, I know in my heart, You are an awesome mom and I know you will be do a great job in filling all of Alexsey's needs. I do understand though as the time gets closer...I start having fears also... that I will never see my 3 kids. Praying for you.

Julie said...

I'm praying for you! I too am having some of those fears, but I know that our God is bigger and He's promised it will all be alright.

Rachel said...

I will be praying for you and the rest of your family as well. I know that God is using you in a great way and that Satan will try to destroy that if he can. I know that you guys will affect Alexsey in a great way, and he will have such a new and beautiful life opened up to him, as he sees the hand of God through all of you. I will be praying!

Mike and Gail said...

You are an amazing MOM. Do not let the lies of the enemy hold you down. God does not give the spirit of FEAR. Trust in him. You were called to adopted this young boy, as you were called to be a Mom to all the others. I Watch and read about your life and you truly are a God follower. God has annointed you as a mother. You do it well. Do not let anyone or anything make you are less then that. What God has called you to do.
Praying Peace and blessings as you make this wonderful journey.

Gail

Martha said...

You are in our thoughts and prayers. While you are gone to Ukraine, my daughter, Bethany, will be on a missions trip visiting an orphanage in El Salvador. The boys there are not up for adoption but are being cared for by house parents and will stay in their native country. She leaves on Sunday and will return 10 days later. I will be thinking of all of you while she is gone too.

Christi said...

Praying and praying for you!! I pray that He surrounds you all and keeps you in His grasp as you go through these travels and travails.

Blessings,
Christi

The Dulls said...

Praying for you! You can do this!!! Nothing is impossible with God! :) So excited for you guys!!!

soontobemomof9 said...

Praying for you as you get ready to leave!!!

You are Alexseys mom. God made a hole in your heart that only Alexsey can fill! Trust in His plan! Let go of those doubts! You can do this Christine!

I am so excited for you!!!!

joeks said...

Sounds like normal concerns and feelings.
Psalm 56:4--"In God I trust; I will not be afraid."
Trusting and praying with and for you!

Anonymous said...

An attack from Satan is a SURE SIGN that you are on the right track and that you are right where God wants you! But God is wayyyyyyy bigger and stronger and more powerful and besides, He already won. So don't you worry 'bout a thing, just go on over there and get ready to celebrate sweet Alexsey's Gotcha Day! I am so, so, SO excited for you and your whole family.

--Sarah

gypsy@Hebrews11:13 said...

You are gonna laugh when you get home and see how "normal" your life will be! Spina Bifida is a part of our lives but it certainly doesn't define us!! Once you get into a routine with his therapy and find out about necessary surgeries (from what I know- you don't have to worry at all), life will be smooth sailing for a woman like you!!!! What's one more kids when you have...ummm, HOW many do you have? 12- I think:)

Please let me know if you have any SB questions- I'd love to help!
lydia@strongsignals.net (adopting Tori and hoping to travel soon)

MamaPoRuski said...

Praying for peace and wisdom! Satan's oldest lie is "Has God really said...?" Can't believe you are going back again so soon! HUGS!

Blessed Mom of Four, Now Five said...

Oh, my dear sister, please know that I felt all of these emotions.

As I've mentioned before, our Ellie has spina bifida, and I had such a heart for Alexsey, when I first saw his face at Reeces Rainbow.

Just as you said with Dennis, the medical issues, are hardly a part of your day to day life. Alexsey will be a treasure for you to cherish. You will make it through the unknowns. I have learned with Ellie and spina bifida, that I don't have to have all the answers. God knows them all, and I must learn to simply trust Him.

Please know you will be in my prayers. I can't wait to see Alexsey in the arms of his mother. Please, too, know that I would be willing to answer any questions you might have about parenting a precious gift who just happens to have spina bifida. You can email me
rbmattox@bellsouth.net

Blessings,
Robbie

Lea said...

I have been enjoying both of your blogs for a while now and just wanted to add to your list of promised prayers.

My husband and I adopted two little boys from Russia at the same time (14 and 15.5 months old). Both of their Russian names: Aleksey (both nicknamed Losha, although the caregivers pronounced it more like Leosha)! Isn't that something. They have now been home with us for 2.5 years and are both thriving.

I love seeing how well Dennis is doing and am so looking forward to watching your Aleksey join the family. You are very inspiring!

Blessings to you all.

Simply, Sarah said...

We'll be watching, waiting, and praying for all of you while you're on this incredible journey. Alosha is so lucky to come to your family.

His medical needs may be great, but you'll have the strength, resources, and revelation needed for whatever comes your way.

TJ said...

Can't wait to see how, with God, you meet all the daily challenges and grow your family, your faith, and your testimony!
Praying for you all!

Terri
AP - travelling sometime soon to pick up our beautiful girls (and beating back those doubts and fears daily)