I can't even begin to express my gratitude to all of you who emailed me privately about my last post. Not only has it been humbling to admit that I was sort of silently flipping out after (really)researching Spina Bifida-- I mean up until now I just always saw Alexsey for Alexsey-- and not any of his potential health problems, but it has also been hard to admit that despite my faith in our almighty God, I still fear, I still doubt, I still want to cling to the comfort of this world, I still want to back up when it feels like I am about to step out of the boat. Thank you for helping me to realize that not dwelling on Alexsey's Spina Bifida is exactly the right thing to do.
I know that in my heart.
I still remember his innocent and flirtatious smile-- that curious side of him that wants to explore the world around him but has never been given the chance. It is the little boy behind that smile that I want to focus on-- not anything else.
Alexsey is perfect in God's eyes, and I need to push out of my mind all the "what ifs" and "but hows."
Lord, I thank you for providing me the reassurance and encouragement that I needed today.
Be with Alexsey, and all of my children-- always.
1 year ago